Autophobia
by Mya Latti
Summary: Although being able to fly was pretty cool, self-consciousness was definitely an issue for him — Tails oneshot.


Hmm, not really sure how people are going to respond to this. I'm not sure if it makes a whole lot of sense either, but what I was trying to get across was how much the bullying from when Tails was younger would affect him even though he was hanging out with Sonic and co now. I could imagine that he'd be pretty scared of going out alone when he could still get picked on so easily. Plus, he'd probably be pretty self-conscious considering he's the only animal with two tails, I know I would be if I had three legs or arms or something.

Autophobia can also be self-hate, but in this respect it's just the fear of being alone. Maybe Tails has autoagoraphobia considering the fear of leaving the house is agoraphobia, haha.

Plus, if he's out of character, I'm so sorry. I haven't written anything Sonic in about a year :S

SORRY FOR ALL THE ANGST TO COME AS WELL, REALLY.

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**Autophobia.**

_The paralysing fear of being left alone._

_This type of phobia normally is the result of some type of traumatic experience. Common symptoms include a constant sense of impending danger whenever another trusted individual is not within easy reach. Often, the autophobic will also have a heightened fear of experiencing some catastrophe with no one there to save him or her from a terrible fate._

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He'd never really told anyone how much he hated having two tails.

Everyone else thought that he loved being able to fly, and the way he presented himself would certainly lead even the most disillusioned person to believe that. Though he did have to admit that soaring through the skies did make him feel pretty good, it was totally wrong for a fox and in no way made up for the fact that he looked so freaking different from everyone else. Oh, he would give _anything _to be like them - and that's what they didn't understand. Should they have to though? Probably not, he didn't really want to burden them with his issues anyway.

Even though he had confided some of it to his brother once, Sonic didn't realise the extent ot his anxieties and just how often he thought about it. _"Why do you have two tails?" _It was a question that was always there, niggling at the back of his mind, no matter what he was doing, be it fighting off robots, messing around with the Tornado or just sitting at home. He didn't know the answer, and this resulted in him feeling even more conflicted.

They all knew that he had been bullied years ago for that very same reason, but once again his outward presentation showed them that he seemed to be completely over it.

Until he went out by himself.

Actually, a more realistic description would be _attempted _to go out by himself.

He would take two steps out his workshop, panic, freeze and then turn around and dart back inside, his mind racing with concerns about those kids seeing him on the street and chasing him down to laugh and beat him up. It made him shiver just thinking about it. Sometimes he could convince himself to go a bit further and get to the shops or wherever he was going, but when he got there he would usually freak out and run home again. A few times he had even managed to go into the store, but everyone's reactions had been exactly what he had pictured - staring, or rather, trying not to stare by taking "ever so casual" glances in his direction. Having two tails was pretty much akin to having three legs in Tails's mind - _not _normal.

The stares, of course, confirmed his fear and made him feel a whole lot worse. Then there would always be at least one kid that would ask their parent loudly "Why does he have two tails?"

_Why does he have two tails?_

There was that question again.

He hated not being able to do _normal _things like go grocery shopping because of these totally ridiculous fears, and he knew that if he hadn't been picked on when he was younger, then he would be able to. And he wouldn't have been bullied if he didn't have two tails. It was a terrible circle that he was stuck in, and what was probably the most frightening was that if something happened, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He couldn't exactly hide one of them, could he? He was too small to take them on by himself too, and the staring just made him want to melt into a puddle on the ground.

It probably sounded selfish. He had a pretty good life compared to what it used to be, so why did he let all that bullying affect him so much? It's not like he was the only kid it had happened to. Maybe if he was more courageous like Sonic, then he'd be able to get over it and not be so goddamn frightened all the time. But whenever he tried to be brave he'd think about it and panic all over again. It was really difficult, he wanted to be able to do things by himself but the only time he _could _do things was when he was with someone he knew. Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, Shadow and heck, even Eggman! He would be less likely to be confronted or ostracised if he was with another, even if they (see: the latter) were attempting to destroy him or the city. Because at least he wasn't alone, and there was nothing more scary than that.

Ugh, it was so senseless! Why couldn't he just have a tiny slither of confidence? He was a good person, he was intelligent and had good friends, but he had two tails.

Two stupid tails.


End file.
